I want to be okay. I want to not hate myself. I want to be happy with what I am but I can't. I know I'm not that fat. But I'm so much bigger that I want to be. I want to be skinny. Why do some people get to be naturally skinny and I get to be this?! ='/
How do I feel okay? I hate being here. I'm putting on weight from eating out of guilt. I feel sick all the time from eating food. I want to live by myself again so I can hide and do what I want. ='(
" I know I'm not that fat" - I think that's a good place to start. I don't really know what else to say, other than that you ARE beautiful and it IS possible for you to be happy with yourself. Praying for you x x
ReplyDeleteLovely one, this is part of the eating disorder. Try to keep reminding yourself that you're not seeing yourself clearly. The person you see in the mirror isn't the person we see! What I found helpful was asking myself why I wanted to be thin, because a lot of the things I thought I would get from being skinny weren't realistic. I have yet to meet a single girl who is happy with their body, I know that doesn't help but it does mean all the 'naturally skinny' people you see probably have times where they hate what they see in the mirror. I would have called you a naturally skinny person anyway! You don't have to want to eat, but you do have to eat. It's the only way to get past these things and I promise you it does get easier. Try and distract yourself as much as possible and think of all the things you won't be able to do if you loose weight (like 2nd year of uni for starters). You CAN do this, I know you can. You're already doing really well. I believe in you darling :) Text me anytime you need to xxxx
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